i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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