quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
