I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
