a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
