all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
