My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
