can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
