Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
