I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
