Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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