I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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