Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
