just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
