We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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