guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
