that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
