Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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