You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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