Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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