mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
