Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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