Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize