the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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