smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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