I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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