He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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