Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
