I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
