You smell like a Billy Joel song
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
