isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
