i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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