this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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