i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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