just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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