once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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