You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
