turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
