Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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