Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
