I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
