I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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