Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
