Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
