I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
