So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dicks are not precious.
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