After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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