I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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