Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
