My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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