I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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