State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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