Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
