My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
