$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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