id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
