You just made me feel so damn special
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
