Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
