She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
