yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
