This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
