I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
